Sexual Irony

It's kind of weird. I have a sexual libido not surpassed by many men. And not just sex in itself but passion. I actually fantasize about kissing and simply moving my hands all over a woman body. Seeing lovers in public that touch each other in simple normal ways turns me on. I really really like cuddling and the one thing I truly desire is waking up next to the same wonderful beautiful every morning.

Yet I don't sleep around. While I've had some cheap flings I initially thought would be one night stands so far to date I have never actually had a one night stand. I've had comments of "doesn't it go down" to "men like you don't exist". And men that truly know me shake their heads and tell me how I could be an incredible "player". Yet I don't sleep around.

I don't usually approach women straight off but prefer to watch from a distance over time. Women never mean what they say so I watch instead to find out what kind of person they are. Who have they dated? What are they attracted to? Who do they make friends with. How much do they sleep around. I've turned down enough one night stands and sure things than I care to think about.

If anything I've turned myself into an anti-player. I've incredibly intelligent yet I've eschewed getting pretentious college degrees. I'm a straight shooter, I find it very hard to lie though I've learned that it's a necessary skill to simplify whatever your talking about and to tell people what they want to hear; I'd make a terrible sales person. I don't parade around in an expensive automobile. I have a motorcycle but it's not a Harley because I find that sub culture itself pretentious though I love motorcycles in and of themselves. I don't have a fancy job, I'll survive on temp work and sometimes I have only a couple dollars in my pocket. All I have is me, and everyone that actually gets to know me tells me how awesome I am. And it's not that I can't be more or don't want to be more, it's just that I don't have anyone to be that for and if I were that already, if I were the doctor or the lawyer, I would know that chances are it wasn't me she was attracted to but rather the clothes.

All the shit women say about how non materialistic they are compared to other women or how they don't sleep around is 99% pure bull. Same with what they say they want in a man. All that I have a job and can take care of myself is just talk. Faced with reality they run off with a guy with a nice car, clothes, that flashes money, and treats them like the commodity they really are.

Yet I'm a hopeless romantic foul and I believe in soul mates. And I hurt dam it!

Calgon take me away!